Respect The Person, Challenge The Behavior

As an organization strives to embody the servant leadership style, it’s crucial to understand that respecting someone as a person does not mean enabling harmful or counterproductive behaviors.

Respecting Inherent Worth

At the heart of servant leadership lies the belief that every individual, no matter their position, background, or current behavior, possesses intrinsic value. This recognition leads to compassion and empathy, key components of the servant leader’s toolkit. When we respect someone’s inherent worth, we see them beyond their mistakes, viewing them as a person deserving of dignity and understanding.

In a leadership context, this can manifest in how we listen to others, how we offer them opportunities to grow, and how we empower them to reach their full potential. This respect fosters a positive, supportive environment (something that every organization should strive to achieve) where individuals feel valued for who they are, not just for the work they produce.

But….what happens when that person’s actions begin to harm the team, the project, or even themselves?

The Pitfall

It’s easy to blur the line between respecting someone as a person and tolerating their negative behaviors. Servant leaders often fall into the trap of overcompensation, where their empathy leads to excusing or ignoring harmful actions for the sake of maintaining harmony. While the intent may be pure, the outcome can be disastrous.

There’s a quote that I’ve heard, although I’m uncertain of who said it, that goes: “Never mistake my kindness for weakness.” Here’s the distinction: respecting someone’s inherent worth means acknowledging their value as a person, not condoning or excusing every negative behavior.

Enabling negative actions undermines the very essence of servant leadership. When we allow these behaviors to persist, we not only harm the team, but we also fail the individual. By not holding them accountable or correcting the negative behavior, we prevent them from learning, growing, and developing into their best selves. While it is not ultimately our duty as a servant leader to ensure that a team member develops into their best self, it is our duty to do what’s best for everyone on the team. True servant leadership requires both respect for the person and a commitment to accountability.

Balancing Respect with Accountability

So, how do we balance this respect with the responsibility to maintain a productive, healthy team environment? The key lies in accountability and clear boundaries.

  1. Set Clear Expectations: Leaders must communicate what behaviors are acceptable and which ones are detrimental to the team or organization.
  2. Constructive Feedback: Feedback is essential for growth. A servant leader can deliver feedback with empathy, framing it as an opportunity for the individual to grow while still addressing the negative actions directly.
  3. Offer Support & Guidance, Not Excuses: Servant leadership means offering support, guidance, resources, and encouragement, not excuses for poor behavior. The goal is to help your team improve, not shield them from the consequences of their actions.
  4. Lead with Compassion, Not Compromise: Compassionate leadership doesn’t mean compromising the standards of the team or organization. It means holding individuals to those standards in a way that honors their potential to improve.

Serve the Person, Not the Problem

Servant leadership is about serving the person (we all get that by now, right?), helping them become the best version of themselves. But, that service isn’t about sweeping issues under the rug. Instead, it’s about facing them head-on with respect, empathy, and accountability.

When leaders respect someone’s inherent worth without enabling their negative actions, they create a culture of growth, responsibility, and mutual respect. That’s where true servant leadership shines, and that’s how we elevate not only individuals but entire teams.

– Philip Douthett

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